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  • Da Akeyasan Jonathan San posted an update 1 month ago
    Dear Kwan Yin and Team,

    I am so sorry that you feel unsupported.
    I am sorry for the disrespect, It was not intentional.

    From my perspective, i was just being quiet, often confused about myself, about “The Work” and my relationship to it.

    Let me be clear, I want you in my life, and i want to be of service, both to life generally, and the student body specifically.

    While ‘breaks’ have been taken, I haven’t stopped engaging with the work.
    The thing with Imzaia is that it has always felt like ‘me talking to me’, and in that intimacy, some slack was expected.

    In a moment of what felt like genuine Heart conversation, a pledge was made to be of service, and in that, i was shown a path that “could work, if i wanted it to”. That path naturally opened up, and with little effort on my part, began manifesting.
    Now, five years later, I find myself as a father to two impossibly beautiful children, and as a partner to their mother.

    This has, at times, felt like the greatest mistake I’ve ever made. Many days feeling as tho i am running in circles meeting everyones needs while stress builds in my body. Desperate for stillness, simplicity, ease; so why did i so thoroughly stack the deck against myself?

    At other times it feels like raising these children is part of “The Work”. Raising them in the spirit of LJFTL, using the stress of the day as grist for the mill of equanimity. Sitting with my daughter, in stillness, as she rages against perceived wrongs, it feels as though i am on track. When a moment for deep practice arises, i seize it, and move deeper than ever. Purified and balanced by the Akeneic bath, i stand and reenter the fray, more gentle, more patient, more open.

    Saying all this it feels as though im trying to justify my absence, and i am, for while its truly no excuse, i have been unbelievably ‘busy’.

    Lately ive been reading “The Way of the Bodhisattva”. Its struck me just how serious people once took tuition and protection from the ascended masters, and just how pathetically modern most of us, myself included, are in this regard.

    I am sorry, I am sorry. I can only defensively say, that when the boundaries begin to blur, it can be difficult to maintain the appropriate perspective.

    I truly meant no disrespect.

    I know that i need you, Kwan Yin, and dear “Lotus”, who’s music i still regularly hang my hat on, even now as i write.

    Kwan Yin, “Lotus”, Ekara, etc, please, please, do not abandon us, for even tho i know that you reside within me, i am still but a lost child, relative to were i feel called.

    It truly is “stranger than you can suppose”

    If there is one place ive matured, it is in the adolescent arrogance that “i can do this all by my self”, for if you had not heard my cries and answered them, where would i be today? What would happen to the countless other beings who i find in my care, how could i help them?

    It is only together that we can bring love back.

    Let us begin again.

    I am sorry, I love you, Please forgive me.

    ISH

      • 6 people like this.
      • San’a’ke o Da Jonathan San ❤️ Beloved one! I am filled with expressive, dancing joy to hear from you! I love you very much and will be in touch soon! Always, Da Pah Kwan Yin San 🙏🌈✨🌴

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